Yesterday was an awwwwfullll day. The company I work for has gone Tobacco Free, meaning no smoking or dipping on their property. Mind you, we have all known for almost a year that this was going to happen, so it comes as no surprise to me that I handled it very badly! I am having a real issue quitting smoking...a terrible habit I have had for 21 years now. So now, since there is no smoking at work I am basically going without from 5 am until 3:30 pm (unless I leave for lunch)...makes for a very cranky Tam. I was so mad yesterday because of the way I was feeling...very jittery and anxious. Totally sucks! Quitting is NOT going to be easy, especially since I am having such a hard time just cutting back. Good gravy, what a perdicament I have gotten myself into (21 years in the making)...what was I thinking way back when...when I decided, "Hey, I think I will smoke!" What an idiot that 16 year old teenager (miss know-it-all) was - and still is (not a miss know-it-all anymore - I don't know crap!)
A dear friend of mine (my photographer, Leesa) called me when I was in Arkansas this past weekend to tell me that her father had a heart attack. He died on the table, but the doctors worked very hard to get him back. It was a very scary situation, and he is not out of the woods yet. But I am glad to say, that he is doing much better and hopefully, they will decide soon on how to handle his blockage issues.
My best friend went to court yesterday. She is going through a horrible divorce. It did not go well for her, but this is just "round one" and now we all know for a fact that her soon to be ex-husband will lie in open court. We suspected he would, and now it is confirmed. After talking to her for a while, I recieved a phone call from another very dear friend and she told me that she was in the hospital while I was gone to visit my parents in Arkansas. Her blood pressure has shot up (and stayed there) and now her kidneys are failing. She is only 27 years old!!!!
So last night, I went to bed, prayed and cried for my friends. Yesterday was not a good day! But today will be better!